Monday, March 22, 2010

Magandang Gabi Po Sa Inyong Lahat!! Ito Ang Aking Email!!!

Dear Pamilya-

This week has been one lacking in fancy stories, crazy catholic bishops, or possessed children, but I do have a story about patience that kind of smacked me in my non-shaven face (I forgot to shave this morning and I swear I saw Rambo hiding right under my right ear…) yesterday.

So, every Sunday we go on splits to cover twice the area that we could normally. Elder Duco takes a ward missionary with him, and I take a ward missionary with me and then we kind of split the remaining people up between us. So, yesterday we had everything set up and ready to go. Duco and I arrived at the church and met with our crew-ready to show our area what’s up. Elder Duco took one ward missionary and I took two others and this sister (who really needs to get married but won’t go to any SA activities…tsk tsk. Send her to BYU-that will take care of itJ) who wanted to grace us with her presence. So, things are going just peachy when we arrive at our first appointment. Her name is Rowena and last time we taught her she practically fell asleep (and I’m really loud and crazy when I teach so I know it wasn’t because of me). She just isn’t interested at all. She didn’t respond to any questions and just kept staring at her wall. Her wall wasn’t that interesting-I actually looked and studied it intensely. Wood and curtains. Nothing insane and heavenly popping out at her. So, we went back cause we decided that she deserves a chance to accept. So, we arrived at her house and I called out announcing our most definitely long awaited arrival and was shocked when there was no red carpet or roses. There was no answer. Now, any normal person, when they have something of importance try to see if people are home, which can sometimes seem a bit rude correct? Well, I had to do no such searching cause her shoulders were in the doorsill. She was watching a movie. I took a step closer and was like hey hows it going? Remember us? She was like uh…im leaving now sorry. So, I was like ok well that’s cool, when can we return. She was like IM LEAVING. Was she leaving? I think not. Such an idea is proposterous. She was chillin there on her couch (which wasn’t comfortable-I sat on it a week ago so it would have almost been a blessing in itself to get off it…) watching some ninja fighting, 15 year old kid’s fantasy, japanese movie. So, that kind of bugged me and threw me off my rocker for the rest of the day because of the blatent disrespect, but I have come to a realization that when people are rude to you it is just because they are unhappy with their lives so I pressed onwards. Then we came to our next appointment. The last time we went there there was like 10 people we taught and this time, only one of them was there, but there were atleast 12 others. So, I taught a lesson, the two kids and the sister testified, and we left. Nothing too bad so far right? It wasn’t bad until one of the ward missionaries suggested that we take this super secret short cut through this field to get back. I was like no what in the world, I barely have a clue as to where I am now, lets follow the yellow brick road back the way we came. He was like this is your area and you don’t know where you are? I was like listen child, I got here a week ago and we have gone to a different barangay (kind of like a city within a city) almost everyday. How about I send you to the heart of Salt Lake and don’t give you an address and ask you to find a single brick on a random building. Flippin Calamba, Cebuyao is like a little country. It is INSANE. I have no clue where in the world I am, I only know where the 7-11s and the Burger King is-what more do I need to know? So, we huffed it the 42 miles to our next appointment to find that she wasn’t there. Once again, that is nothing heartbreaking cause it happens everyday. I was kind of bummed though because I had 3 other people with me and they were expecting something cool. So, we left the community and headed for our next shin-dig:the law of chastity and the word of wisdom being taught to a woman named…are you ready for this…snookie. So, we trudged through the wilderness, long jumped the river jordan, and arrived at good ol snookie’s house. Unfortunately, the sister had to go home so I had no one more mature than a 17 year old to talk to for the rest of the day. This is where the real problems started. Snookie’s family are members (was that english right? It sounds ugly…are members…good thing I only have to use English on Mondays…its freakin HARD) and it is only her that isnt. The second we entered I could tell by the look on her face that she felt uncomfortable. How would you feel if 2 random filipinos, some woman, and a skyscraper 2 feet taller than you walked in your house? Elder Duco wasn’t with us when we went so she knew none of us. Before we entered into her humble abode I told the ward missionaries that they were gonna be teaching the word of wisdom cause it is a bit easier and they might feel awkward teaching the law of chastity. They agreed and told me that they were able to do such a feat. So, we started and I gave them the floor. BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE. First off, they were looking for the word of wisdom in the book of mormon. Ooooooh, sorry champ, wrong book in the standard works. So, I gave them my d&c and opened up to it and they started teaching. They started with coffee and tea. They were like tea and coffee is forbidden for many reasons…*awkward silence in which I think I heard two pieces of dust collide in the air* she was like…uh…cool…and they were like they have chemicals…and she was like really? What chemicals? And they were like uh…the Lord commands us not to drink them so we shouldn’t…so, onto the next thing. Dang killer, you are knockin’ her dead with your explanations. Then he was like the next thing is sleep. The lord said not to go to bed later than 10 o clock and to wake up no later than 6 o clock in the morning. What in the world? The Lord said that…yea, and skittles are disgusting-LIES. The Lord said retire early so you can awake early and be refreshed. I was like uh…no sister he definitely didn’t say that. I went over the scripture in D&C and told her that it is beneficial for our health to go to bed earlier and to wake up earlier. So, what you are telling me, is the handbook that Thomas S. Monson approved for all missionaries regarding their time to go to bed and to wake up is wrong. Cool. So, I took the floor, fixed their mistakes and then taught the Law of Chastity. I wouldn’t have been frustrated with anyone else because it is a simple mistake and usually when we take people to work with us they kind of freeze cause they don’t know how to talk to people they don’t know and make conversation, but Matthew (the main ward missionary who is only 17) likes to tell missionaries how to do their job and such. So, I got a little frustrated with him cause he criticized me and then didn’t know how to teach a simple lesson. So, I left a little bit flurried, but decided losing the spirit wasn’t worth it so I dropped it on the ground and trudged forth towards our next appointment. Cheryl wasn’t there, so we hung out with her sister for like 15 minutes before going. During those 15 minutes I asked matthew what time it was implying to look at his phone. He was like elder, phones are not allowed for you. I was like dude, I just want to know the time, im not gonna text your girlfriend and ask her out on a date and he was like it is FORBIDDEN. This started, once again, some contention because I cant stand it when people who have no authority over me tell me what to do. Mom, it would be like taking marriage advice from a divorced counselor. After talking with her sister and relieving some stress we left and decided to go to the meeting place where we were to have our dinner appointment. Matthew decided to stop by his house before we went, so we went. This caused tons of problems. He had nick playing on his tv in his house and spongebob was playing on such a channel. So, I decided to let my eyes rest on the such a kids tv show (it was the episode of the strangler-ask brady, Samuel and ben, they will know what im talking aboutJ) and sat in his nice little bamboo chair for a bit, until he was ready to go. After we left, he started like yelling at me. I was like woah little kid, first off, you need to slow down cause your voice sounds like a weed wacker, and second off what in the world are you talking about. He was like elder it was against the rules for you to watch tv in my house. He was like chastising me for watching spongebob. I was like listen to me you small 3 foot 65 pound Filipino-I am a missionary and being such, I know what I can and can not do. I also know the consequences of my actions will always follow-whether they are good or bad. I know that if I go to a club downtown, I might have a little trouble feeling the spirit. I was like where in the world are you getting this and he was like it is in your white handbook and I was like im sorry, whose, he was like yours, whose, yours, whose, yours. Exactly. You still have 2 years til you become a missionary and have to follow the white handbook. In so being, you have NO CLUE what is inside of such a book. Does the seed tell the pine tree how to grow? I THINK NOT! My obedience and my agency is between me and the lord. You aren’t my mediator, and you most definitely aren’t my mom or my father cause they are both taller than you and have arm hair. It was really frustrating cause we kind of had a go at it and he wouldn’t accept the fact that 1)he has no authority, and 2)he is a priest and 3)he ISNT a missionary. Advice-something I like. I will take advice from anyone. Suggestions-more than welcome. Questions regarding if I can start or stop doing something-feel free to throw them at me. Commands-I take from those who have authority. Not some punky kid whose voice cracks more than an egg given to a 3 year old. It was SOOOOO frustrating, but patience is a virtue right? Ha, I learned a lot from that experience. No matter what happens, it is NOT worth getting mad over. When you are angry, you act like a fool. End of storyJ

In other news we have found a new apartment. It is SUPER NICE (we need to find another because of that shooting that went down in front of our current apartment) and only 5000 a month. We will drop such a thing on president tomorrow at zone interviews. I also get mail tomorrow WOOOOT!!! I am expecting a letter from geek bottom dumb himself-Mr. Jules Robert Miller with details to his upcoming wedding so hopefully I will have such a thing, if not, hey, I get mail on Friday again so I guess its just time!!!

All around me people are getting crazy trunky. Sister Clayton has 4 weeks left then she goes home to her RM boyfriend (I give her 2 weeks) and elder Duco gets outta here in 3 months. Kind of a sad thing to see them bounce, but a necessary step nonetheless. Elder Duco was talking to me after we left the internet shop earlier and he was chatting with his ex-girlfriend on facebook that he dated for 3 YEARS before his mission (he is 22) and apparently she wants to get married now and so he has become a wee bit more trunky. Other than that, life in Calamba is a bowl of cheerios everyday. I really really like it here. The people are cool, and the weather is hot. There are a lot of man-women (born men, but dress like women with make up and lip stick and all the other stuff that girls use…THEY ARENT PRETTY) all over the place which is just a little bit on the disturbing side, but other than that life moves onwards.

Brady is gonna try out for Roy Jr? Dang. I told that little punk that I was gonna dominate him when I got back at basketball…what happens if he is better than me? How am I gonna live that one down? Oh, and what happens if he gets taller than me? He already makes Chelsea look like Jimminy Cricket, and im sure is about to show mom up in height. Tell that boy to ease off the puberty gas pedal.

It sounds like you had a nice birthday. It always sucks when you have a…sucky birthday so I am glad that yours went by as smoothly as the fabric of Mr. Rogers’ sweaters. I wish I could send you something, but sending packages aren’t the cheapest things in the world. I will send my love though. Ill take you out to dinner for your 42nd birthday how does that sound ha? Man, we have TONS of birthdays approaching. April 1st, 4th, May 1st, 30th, June 2nd, July 14th, 15th man, they are much in abound. My birthday present to 3 of those birthdays will be a phone call here in a couple weeks!!!

Teaching wise, this week was plain and simple. No angelic visitations, no golden plates found, nothing cool like that. Sunday was an AWESOME day for me though. We had a couple investigators come to church which really really made me happy. Every sacrament, before it starts (priesthood is first, then gospel essentials, then sacrament) I go around and make sure to shake everyone’s hand and it made me smile bigger than big bird to see them there. Man, let me tell you, sharing the gospel with your friends and seeing them in sacrament meeting is one of the coolest feelings that I have ever had in my life.

I do actually still get asked my height quite often. I also get something else here. As you read earlier in me making fun of the people here, Most Filipinos have no arm hair. They do have some leg hair, but their arms are bare like a baby’s bottom (which I unfortunately see all the time cause no one believes in pants in the Philippines). People will come up to me and rub my arm for like 20 seconds and I am like uhhhhhh….hey….hows it goin…and they are like your hair is…its GOLDEN. They cant get over the fact that my arm hair isn’t black and that I have so much of it. It makes me chuckle every now and then cause sometimes little kids come and rub it cause they are curious and they become mesmorized and ill wait for like 10 seconds then be like AAARRRRGH and they are like AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH and run away haha fun times. The Philippines rock my socks.

That is cool beans that Mike is flying out to meet you all. Did you ever find out about the whole church situation? How are Leah and Sarah going with that deal? Speaking of which, can you get leah’s email for me? Im gonna start emailing her cause writing letters is SUCH A HASSLE trust me-I write them CONSTANTLY.

Does Tory have a job to fall back onto, or, move forward to rather? Man mom, I hope you are ready for such a thing. It seems to me like that is an intense thing to reckon with.

I was read something interesting in the scriptures the other day. In the book of Luke, in the 18th chapter, we read

And he spake this parable unto certain which trusted in themselves that they were righteous, and despised others:

Two men went up into the temple to pray; the one a Pharisee, and the other a publican.

The Pharisee stood and prayed thus with himself, God, I thank thee, that I am not as other men are, extortioners, unjust, adulterers, or even as this publican.

I fast twice in the week, I give tithes of all that I possess.

And the publican, standing afar off, would not lift up so much as his eyes unto heaven, but smote upon his breast, saying, God be merciful to me a sinner.

I think humility is something bomb dig to have. I realize that I might have put on my Pharisee outfit with the whole Matthew situation, for which I hope I can learn from. I have found out that sometimes as members, we put ourselves above others. Whether it be through our actions, words, or thoughts, sometimes we consider ourselves higher because we have the gospel in our lives, and others don’t. I used to do it with those who don’t have the same standards as me, until I realized that we are all 10000000% equal to the Lord no matter WHAT we do. For this I am grateful. How much better would the world be if we all cleaned the inner vessel of all contentious, back-biting, or harmful comments? Experiences like those that I had with Matthew make me once again realize that I am not perfect, and increase my gratitude for the sacrifice of my older brother making it possible for me to once again become clean through his infinite sacrifice. You know the Taglog word for gospel? Pure Domination!

And that is the way the caribou flies. I am way stoked to get to talk with you all on mothers day (ill end up calling your phone using skype) Remember-the gospel freakin dominates. Random question-have you done the temple work for Oma and Opa…or the 14828114 other relatives that have died? You better believe I am stealing all the undone work when I get back (except the women. That one might be a little hard to do by myself. Ha, mom, looks like me and you are gonna rock 15 sessions a week when I get backJ). I read something that made me laugh today, its kind of random, but funny nonetheless. It is a family at a table, and the boy turns to the mother and says “mom, in new testament times, were leftovers called Passovers?” Ha I laughed hard on that one and it made me realize…im such a mormon:/ AND PROUD I MUST SAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Keep rocking life and being amazing. I do have a question though. It has been literally bugging me for a little bit now. You know me and how my mind goes off on RANDOM useless tangents that have no worth…but…if you had a bowl of alphabets, and a bowl of spaghetti-os, which would have more words spelled out? I think the alphabets would, but that is just me. Food for thought.

The Lord loves us allJ

Love,

Jake

Aka Elder Muller

PS-clock hands overlap 22 times in a day. Cool huh? One of the more important things that I have learned on my mission…

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